Signs

People talk about the signs from the divine, the greater power, the universe. I believed in all of that, pretty much all my life - started with Star Wars. Then in 2018 my mom had an accident and she didn't die, but fell into a coma.
I am the first one to tell you Things happen FOR you, not TO you. There is a silver lining. There is a lesson.

But I saw no silver lining or lessons here. I just can't fathom that the coma happened FOR her.
I lost faith. Completely. F*** spirituality!
4 years later, I find myself...shifting. Wanting ... to believe again. 
I want to believe that there is a shard of light in the tragedy. 

Nothing changed. My mom's still asleep.

But as I recognize the want to believe again, I am starting to see "coincidences."

I am not sold. But it feels like I am starting to heal. Maybe... I haven't decided to believe...yet, but I decided to be healed.   
Sending you love and kindness.